Top 5 Things to Read While on the Toilet

Experts estimate the average person spends approximately 92 days of their life on the toilet. That is a lot of time to just sit there staring at the wall. We have curated the definitive list of reading material for your most private moments.

#1 — Wikipedia Rabbit Holes

Start at “List of unusual deaths.” End up reading about the Byzantine Empire 45 minutes later, still on the toilet, slightly panicked.

#2 — The Back of the Shampoo Bottle

A classic for a reason. “Lather, rinse, repeat” is deceptively deep if you think about it long enough.

#3 — Your Work Slack (on mute)

Observe the chaos from a safe distance. Do not engage. You are unavailable. You are in a meeting. You are, technically, occupied.

#4 — Long-form Journalism

That 8,000-word article you bookmarked in 2023 about supply chain logistics? This is its moment. This is what it was always waiting for.

#5 — The DoodyPoo Blog

Articles perfectly sized for a sitting. Fast to read, low in nutritional value, entirely satisfying. You are already here. You are already comfortable. You are welcome.